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Funniest Hookup 'Appointment' Tweets For People Who Overplan Their Sexual Encounters

The movies make us believe that hookups are carefree, sexy, and spontaneous, but there's a whole lot of planning that goes into it behind the scenes. For example, if you're someone that feels most confident during a hookup when your body is silky smooth, then you have to make time before the d*ck appointment to shave, which is extremely time-consuming, okay?! And then what if this dude cancels? And then your backup has the audacity to cancel right after? We put in all the effort for nothing! Ridiculous! Thank god for the modern tech of vibrators. Vibrators will never do you wrong and cancel. The d*ck enthusiasts of Twitter know all about the planning that goes on behind the scenes of hookups, and they vent about it on a weekly basis. Scroll down for the best tweets about d*ck appointments. 

Funny tweets about hookup appointments | thumbnail text - (supercilious archer) @timespulse I've got a dick appointment tonight actually so if it happens that this guy likes to decapitate people and collect their severed heads and I don't come back: I died doing what I loved. 5:09 PM · May 9, 2021 · Twitter Web App
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Viral Tweets: Mom Confuses Hedgehog Purchase For Coming Out

Some animals require more care and resources than others, and for people who don't know much about their needs, it's quite unexpected. For example, people don't realize how difficult it can be to take care of a fish or how many things you need to know before getting a pet rabbit

Baby hedgehogs are apparently one of those animals who need a little bit more from their owners, but that doesn't stop animal lovers like us from getting them. It's just that... with how much they cost, breaking the news of getting these awwdorable baby hedgehogs can be quite stressful. And for this twitter users, it was so stressful, their mom literally thought they were coming out instead. 

These tweets are somehow both funny and heartwarming lol, and we love them. 

viral tweets about a mom thinking their kid is coming out when in reality she's just getting a pet hedgehog | thumbnail includes one tweet 'Font - caroline conrad @CPConrad when i was 19 i was very nervous to tell my mom i had spent most of my savings on a baby hedgehog and built it up so much that she interrupted me to tell me she would love and support me no matter who i was or who i loved and that's when i realized she thought i was coming out 4:52 AM · May 10, 2021 · Twitter Web App 3,266 R'
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The World's Most Clueless Quora Users

We're back at it again with a fresh collection of absolutely clueless and misguided questions from some of Quora's most hopelessly lost souls.These people are in dire need of an instruction manual for life. It'd appear they're nowhere close to possessing normal levels of common sense. 

A collection of funny and ridiculous insights from various people on Quora | Is unfair kick child out house on their 18th birthday, providing they've been warned advance even if their graduation is months off?
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Gamers Can't Agree On How To Rank The GTA Games

While we all wait patiently for even the subtlest GTA 6 tease, some are taking to Twitter to reignite the long-debated question about how to 'correctly' rank the games in the Grand Theft Auto series. Unsurprisingly, everyone's got their own opinions based on differing rationale. When judging the quality of a game, some prioritize story and characters, while others are more impressed by graphics and technical achievements. But perhaps the fact that no one can really agree how to rank the GTA games is a tribute to the series as a whole—whether San Andreas will always hold a special place in your heart, or you were completely dazzled by those beautiful GTA V graphics, there are no wrong answers because they're all fun as hell. 

gta v, grand theft auto, gaming, video games, san andreas, vice city, twitter, trending tweets, hot takes, funny
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Wedding Cakes Worth Calling Off The Wedding For

When you think of wedding cakes, you probably picture beautifully iced white, floral creations. But some bakers have other ideas. These wedding cake fails will make you feel sorry for the couple getting married, the baker who created the horrors, and the guests who had to see them. And if these aren't proof that picture evidence is always crucial before you pay for a product, I don't know what is.

pictures of wedding cake fails | bride dragging a groom from a computer desk | ugly cheap yellow cake
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Time To Take In The Weekly Dose Of Cute (#134)

The one thing that we could always use more of in our lives is animal wholesomeness and good vibes. Positivity like that helps us get through every single day, whether it's in the form of wholesome tumblr dog posts or awwdorable trash panda memes, or if it's in the form of the most wholesome collection of animal posts you'll all week.

Welcome to our weekly dose of cute! Every week, we collect for you the most wholesome and adorable animal posts we can find on reddit just to give you that extra dose of good vibes that you're looking for. It's animals and positivity all throughout, and we guarantee that something in here will make you smile from ear to ear. 

We wish you the sweetest week, everyone!

pics and vids of the cutest animals of the week | thumbnail includes a picture of a blind dog wearing goggles 'My 11yr old dog is blind but still loves hiking so I got her doggles to protect her eyes from sticks u/WildBill-'
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Incompetent Manager Tries To Blame Employee For His Own Use of Comic Sans

There are some employees who stick around because they do good work, and there are others whose longevity stems from their ability to blame everyone else for screw ups. This manager tried to get after a certain employee when he should have realized the mistake was his own, and it just proved his own incompetence. People have problems with technology, like this customer who thought electronic payment worked by putting checks into their computer.

manager has comic sans as default font, tries to blame employee for it
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Loose Tiger Causes Mayhem In Houston

Move over, Tiger King: there's a new big cat keeper in town. There's only one problem, and it's that they can't seem to keep it contained.

A loose tiger is one of the last things you expect to see on a suburban Texan street, but that's exactly what confronted Twitter user @robwormald's parents yesterday evening. Add to the mix a standoff with a gun-toting cop and an outdoor party full of "tasty kids" nearby and you get a recipe for potential disaster.

Eventually, the owners turned up and contained the cat, before fleeing from police with it in the back of their car. While this sadly might not stop them from the illegal ownership of exotic animals, it definitely gave residents of this West Houston neighborhood pause for thought.

tiger, escape, animal, suburban, cop, police, party, parents, big cat
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Women Whose Makeup Looks Did Not Go As Planned

Makeup is an art, especially when it's done well. I guess that's why they call them makeup artists. But sometimes, it's a failed art form, and the amateurs give the professionals an awful rep. These women whose makeup totally backfired on their faces, whether it was their wrongdoing or a makeup artist's failed attempt, we can only scroll through and feel sorry for these poor ladies. Better luck next time, eh?

women whose makeup totally backfired on them | thumbnail text - "I paid $45 for this monstrosity and my husband's reaction was worth every cent."
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Entitled Karens Who Karen'd All Over The Place

It's important to remember that the designation of "Karen" is always a judgement of behavior. Karen is an attitude of entitlement, ambivalence, and a lack of sympathy for fellow people (especially those in customer service). From to Karens getting defeated by kindness to lying Karens getting decimated by restaurant owners, the self involvement, lack of basic understanding and absurd, audacious entitlement in a modern Karen is something to behold.

Karens being entitled and horrible
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18 Times Overthinking & Anxiety Saved The Day

If you're a natural overthinker whose anxiety borders on obsession, you've probably been the subject of ridicule among reckless loved ones who treat life like it's a damn toy. Well get ready for some major validation, because this thread of worrywarts is full of stories about all the times being an anxious overthinker actually paid off. Of course, we're not encouraging irrational 'what-if' thoughts that stem from anxiety, we just think that sometimes it's okay to trust your instincts, even when everyone around you thinks you're being ridiculous. 

reddit, ask reddit, anxiety, overthinking, interesting, reddit thread, funny, anecdotes, relatable, funny stories
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Guy Accuses His Brother's Wife Of Cheating Because She Started Wearing Makeup

Having not put on a full face of makeup for the best part of a year, I jump at any opportunity to get dressed up. Or at least to feel like I've put some effort into my appearance, because how long can a girl wear sweats and have her hair in a messy bun before she goes insane? So I fully support any woman who puts on makeup to feel good about the way she looks, even if it's to stay at home. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with me. One guy posted on Reddit's Am I The A—hole, explaining that his wife, who received some makeup as a gift, has started experimenting with different looks, adding that "she's really talented with it, and she's having a lot of fun." So far, so good.

That is until his brother "decided she must be posting pictures or sending pics to some dude or multiple dudes," aka, she must be cheating because there's no other explanation as to why she'd suddenly be wearing makeup. Of course, women only wear makeup to cheat on their partners, right? The woman's husband called his brother an "insecure, testicle grabbing, chauvinist man-baby," which obviously didn't go down well. Read the whole story below, and see how quickly Redditor's jump to her defense, commend the OP for his healthy attitude towards the entire thing and call out the toxic brother-in-law for projecting all hit sh*t onto his brother's wife.

brother accuses sister-in-law of cheating because she starts wearing makeup, husband goes insane | thumbnail Font - Posted by u/throwaway47757954325 5 days ago 3 8 8 2 67 285 3 78 79 AITA for calling my brother an "insecure, testicle grabbing, chauvinist man-baby" over his comments about my wife's makeup? Not the A-hole That's the actual quote. I'm still pissed as hell but maybe I went too far here. My brother and I are both late 30s. We get along fine most of the time, but my brother doesn't do
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