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Jesse Kessenheimer

LOTR is the greatest story ever told–change my mind
Wuddup Cheezburger brethren–I'm Jess Kessenheimer and I'm a writer for the Trending Team over here at the spiciest website on the Internet. Platters of punchlines are brought to you on Memebase, Failblog, ICanHas, Geek Universe, Cheezcake, and Animal Comedy–And I'm the one that's gonna serve it up with a dash of salt. What makes me qualified to curate such a delectable mix of mishmash and comedy? Welp, you don't spend your life perpetually online without gaining a bit of insider info on the goods. You may hate that I'm a Zillennial (millennizoomer, or whatever you want to call it), but as your purveyor of memes, viral videos, and tiptop tales from the Reddit dungeons, I'm specifically equipped to bring you the very best that the Internet has to offer.  I may be too old to be TikTok famous and too young to own a house, but I'm just the right age to have spent $.99 cents on a ringtone and to watch my Neopet starve, while I'm locked into a snowball dispute on Club Penguin. So as my knees creak and the dial-up tone of my first computer echoes in my ears, step right up and read some of my newest jokes, cultivated in the dark humor corners of my soul. What can I say? I'm just a product of my environment (which has incidentally consisted of a disturbing amount of 'once-in-a-lifetime' events).  Anywho, below are some funnies, some weirds, and some downright dubious trending tidbits from online–go look at 'em!!
teacher principal late interview hire

Principal leaves a new hire hanging for 45 minutes, so the prospective Spanish teacher walks out of her interview: ‘You know what? I’m no longer interested'

single-mom moms parenting motherhood children babysitting vacation

Single mom corners her friend into babysitting her 3 and 5-year-old on vacation so she can enjoy solo time, so the friend decides to get their own hotel for the rest of the trip: ‘She tried to turn me into a free nanny’

chicken chicks neighbor cat cats mama mom adorable farm

Cuddly farm cat steals the neighbor's chicks so she can raise them as her own, refusing to return her new chicken family to the neighbor: ‘So far she has cost me €27 for stolen chicks’

office coworker colleague coworkers office-life mom parenting childfree

'[I’m not] her backup plan': Childfree coworker refuses to continue bending over backwards for a single mom when she starts taking advantage of their availability, setting healthy office boundaries

kitten kittens memes cat cats cat-memes lol smol

31 Happy Kitten Memes to Meownifest a Spectacular Mew'd

cat cats kitten hvac home homeowners buyers rescue

Home inspection reveals a feline resident in a house's HVAC system, prospective home buyers decide to adopt the resident kitty: 'It's the cat's house'

teen rebellion duck ducklings adorable parents funny

Teen buys 6 ducklings at the tractor supply store and cares for them in secret in her room for months before her parents find out: ‘My “teenage rebellion” phase’

lion zoo cubs cat cats wild wild-animals animals rescued

Lion finds his furrever family after getting rescued from a shady backyard zoo, coming out of his shell when he meets a female and her cuddly cubs: ‘They cured his trauma’

career professional photographer marketing catering free invoice

Professional photographer does her brother's catering company's marketing for free until he jokes that her career isn't “real" at a party; so she sends him an invoice: ‘I have clients who pay me very well for what I give him for free’

sales hardware store employee karen custom

Hardware store employee gets 30+ copies of a refrigerator manual delivered to a customer's house because she's too impatient to comprehend snail mail: ‘I started calling Maytag twice a day’