Today, my 89-year-old grandfather told me how he hustles games of pool from the 79-year-olds at t...

(while teasing my Grandpa) Grandpa: I didnt fight in 'nam for this crap. Me: Erm we're british ...

Me: Is that a purple Disney princess band aid? Dad: Yeah! Don't be a hater!

While talking about how only boys sat by me in my new class, my Grandma asked: What's the girl ve...

(At a mexican restaurant) Dad: I've never really cared for fried ice cream. Mom: Oh God I'll t...

Mom: You can't go to Home Depot, you're a girl.

Mom: Is like you're the ugly duckling, but instead of a swan you turned out to be a condor or som...

If you see an attractive girl in a yellow dress it may not be a good idea to approach her by sayi...